"What's Wrong With Her Face?"

My gorgeous Sassy Pants was born with a teeny tiny, light pink birthmark on her right cheek near her ear.  I kissed that sweet birthmark every five minutes.  It was so lovely and unique.  I couldn't take my eyes off of its sweetness.

Two weeks after she was born, that birthmark started to become bigger and brighter.  Another birthmark started forming on her lower lip.  She also had one on her tummy, one behind her left ear, and one behind her knee.  These birthmarks are called hemangiomas.

Although most of Sassy's hemangiomas have shrunk, faded, and even disappeared, the lower lip remains.

Left: 2 months old, Right: first birthday

We get lots of questions and comments about her birthmarks.  When she still had the large one on her cheek, the most popular comment was, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER FACE?!"  Sometimes it was even preceded by "EWWW!"  Once a woman came up to Sassy Pants in the mall corridor, where Sassy was twirling her skirt.  The woman said she was beautiful, but when Sass turned around, she was obviously disturbed by her birthmarks.  She said she "hope[d] doctors could do something about her face."  It was horrible.  It was soul-crushing.  These were just a few of the worst incidents, but our trips out in public were quite often punctuated with rude comments, poorly-worded questions, someone diagnosing my daughter with some weird disease their cousin's friend's stepdad has or suggesting a natural cure to her birthmark (namely coconut oil; to this day, I want to knock every jar of coconut oil off the shelf at Kroger).

More recently, people ask if she has been drinking red Kool-Aid, playing in Mommy's lipstick drawer, or if she fell and injured her lip.  I respond kindly by saying, "No, that's just her beautiful birthmark," and offering a few simple explanations if the conversation goes farther.  Now that Sassy Pants is nearly four years old, she is beginning to field the questions herself.  A few weeks ago, she made a new friend at the Y and I overheard her say, "Oh, that's just my beautiful birthmark.  You were born with brown hair, and I was born with yellow hair.  You were born with brown skin, and I was born with peach skin and a birthmark.  That's all."  The new friend responded, "Oh.  I like it.  And your hair is perrrrrrrfect, girl."  I beamed with pride.  I hope the other mama did, too.

Shirt made by my friend, Ashley, at Stitched

Because the birthmark is vascular, the blood vessels dilate in the summer heat, causing the birthmark to be more noticeable and resulting in more questions from strangers.  Aside from politely answering their questions and trying my damnedest to raise a confident daughter, I feel like the only other thing I can do is raise awareness about hemangiomas.

So, behold,  10 things you need to know about hemangiomas:

1.  Hemangiomas are benign vascular tumors.
2.  They don't usually cause health problems or cause pain.  (There are some exceptions to this.  If your child has a hemangioma on, in, or near the eyes, nose, mouth, ears, or diaper area, please ask for a referral to a specialist.  If your child's hemangioma starts to scab or bleed, also seek medical attention.  Rapidly growing hemangiomas can ulcerate, causing pain and leading to infection if left untreated.  You can find a specialist here.)
3.  Although they are called birthmarks, hemangiomas usually aren't present at birth.  They actually appear when a child is a few weeks to a few months old.
4.  Approximately one in ten children develops a hemangioma.
5.  Hemangiomas are more common in girls.
6.  They are also more common in Caucasian children.
7.  Hemangiomas are commonly called "strawberry birthmarks."
8.  They usually grow.  This is called the proliferation phase.
9.  They also usually fade away.  This is called the involution phase.  Most hemangiomas are gone by the time a child is five years old.
10.  It is okay to ask questions about my child's hemangioma in a polite way, but please do not imply that something is "wrong" with her.  She is unique, not flawed.

In my heart, I know that most people who point out my child's birthmark are not trying to be rude.  They do not know that we have had a similar encounter hundreds of times before and are thankful every time we return from a shopping trip that didn't include an explanation about her lip.   They didn't witness my tears when my baby had to have MRIs, x-rays, endoscopy, EKGs, laser surgery, and medication.  They don't know that for years I was perpetually exhausted from worry (and from having a baby with roid rage).  They have no idea that my sweet girl's birthmark is a sore spot.  But, if they knew the ten things I listed above, maybe these encounters would be fewer and farther between.  The more you know...