Appreciation

Recently, as I was brushing Sassy Pants' hair and telling her how special she is (our nightly ritual) she turned to me and said, "Mommy, you say 'appreciate' a lot.  You must really like that word.  My favorite word is 'cat.'"  Appreciation is to me what cats are to Sassy.  Her world revolves around cats.  She oozes cats.  While I often fail, my goal is to ooze appreciation.

Two year ago, I was miserable.  I lived in a city that didn't feel like home, far away from my family and friends.  I had a child with a medical issue that I was constantly obsessing over.  I had insane guilt about not being attentive enough to my other child.  I was going through a crisis of faith.  I was lonely.  I felt stuck.  I cried every single day.  My depression made it difficult for me to appreciate anything around me - other than yoga pants and comfort food.  That year, I decided to give up ingratitude for Lent.  I began a gratitude journal in a little gray diary with skeleton keys printed on the cover.  On the first page, I wrote "Gratitude is the key to happiness" because I saw that quote  on Pinterest ( and isn't that where everyone finds the cheesiest proverbs?!).  Every night for 40 nights, I listed three things I was grateful for that day.

During those 40 days, good things started happening.  Actually, good things were always happening, but the act of being grateful made me recognize the good things.  I continued the journal after the Lenten season and found myself expressing gratitude elsewhere.  I was raised to say "please" and "thank you" but sometimes that didn't seem sufficient.  I started using the word "appreciate."

"Hubby, thank you for doing the dishes tonight.  I really appreciate you." 
"I appreciate the drawing you made me, Smarty Pants.  I am going to hang it by my vanity so I can see it every morning."
"Sassy Pants, I appreciate how well you behaved today at the library.  I'm so glad you are my daughter."
"Thanks for calling me today.  I really appreciate your friendship."

I appreciate the waitress who gives me extra lemon for my water and the man who bags my groceries at the store, and I say it out loud (and sometimes get sideways looks).  I send thank you notes to show appreciation for gifts.  While a simple "thanks" is polite, I feel like the word "appreciate" conveys worth.  Like Mister Fred Rogers says in the photo above, there is something sacred about appreciation. 

Of course, I'm human.  I'm fallible.  I slip back into my old selfish, ungrateful, unappreciative ways sometimes.  Right after Christmas, I started feeling blah.  I've had a nasty case of the blahs enough times to know when I need to get it in check.  So I dug out the old gratitude journal.  Just in time for Lent.  I'm ready to participate in something sacred.